Yep, it's true. I yelled at God today. Okay, more of a yelling out to God but still.
It's been a rough week. My son has begun his three week growth spurt and it is a very demanding process on me. He eats pretty much every two hours on the hour. After feeding for about a half hour each time it doesn't leave me much time for rest. Plus I thought my milk was starting to dry up or something, but I'm learning that my body is regulating itself and producing exactly what Reese needs and requires. If he is only taking 2 ounces per feeding then that is what my body is producing at each feeding. I used to be able to pump 4-5 ounces in just over 20 minutes, but now I am lucky if I get 2 ounces in the same time. I was a bit worried, but now knowing that he is in the midst of a phase it is a little easier to understand.
With the demand of this feeding schedule also comes a huge lack of sleep. Sometimes he is so hungry that he is inconsolable. My thoughts are usually "Child, you just ate an hour ago. I've got nothing left." But, regardless if I have 2 ounces or just a few drips, he needs to be on the boob and he needs to know that I care for him and will provide my best.
It has been a busy week with Zac working a lot and not able to be home to help me get any rest. With that has come an emotional roller coaster. I know that the only reason I am so emotional is because I am so tired and feel so demanded. Zac wanted me to go with him this evening to an event put on by a kid Zac's age who started his own company. He is having a panel of business owners present information for those who want to start their own business. I'd like to go with him, but with Reese's last few rough days I'm not sure I can. I'm kind of waiting until the last minute to decide what to do. It depends on how many bottles I have pumped and if he gets any rest. I would feel bad leaving a screaming baby with someone (in this case Zac's parents) for a few hours.
So, all of this put together led me to yell at God. This morning around 11am Reese was crying because he was so tired and wouldn't sleep and I just stood up, threw my hands up and yelled "Lord! I need your help! I am so tired! I can't do this by myself! I need you!" Ten minutes later my little guy was asleep, I took a two-hour nap, and at almost 1:45pm he is still currently sleeping soundly!!! :) Praise the Lord! :)
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Praying for you guys, Amy! I know it must be such a struggle, but you are doing a great job. Is there a friend who could come over sometimes and play with/take care of Reese so you could rest sometimes? Blessings on you, new mommy! God is your refuge and strength, a very present help in times of trouble (even when your baby is tired and hungry). Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteThis, too, shall pass. Having been there recently, all I can say is that the growth spurts get fewer and further between - I know right now it seems like all he's doing is going through growth spurts every other day, but by 8 weeks he should slow down with the growing and start with the fun interactive stages. He will sleep more at night (and less during the day) he will eat more, faster and less frequently and one day, he will eat "real" food and be able to say in words what he wants... (still waiting for that one as my little girl is only 6 months old). In just a few short months, you will even have a hard time remember what these first few weeks were like... hard as that may be to believe :)
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to throw a little encouragement your way. You sound like a great Momma, just hang in there a little longer. :) Prayin' for ya!
I know it can be stressful, but this phase will pass. You are doing a great job, and if you ever need someone to come over and watch him while you sleep, or just need a break I am always available, dont hesitate to ask. I hope the little guy sleeps for you tonight :)
ReplyDeleteOh Amy....I can so relate to how you feel. I remember when Kenzie was 2 weeks old and feeling so tired of being needed so much and just tired in general. Praise the Lord for being gracious to you and helping you get some rest when you called out to Him! He is faithful : ) Before you know it these times will be long gone. Part of you will feel relieved....part of you will miss it terribly. So try to enjoy the nice parts and keep praying through the not as nice parts. Reese is so blessed to have a mom who is smart enough to go to the One who gives good and perfect gifts! Hang in there!!
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