Our Struggles with Sleep Lately

Reese has always been a great sleeper! He started sleeping through the night the second night we were home from the hospital. He hardly ever woke up for night feedings and I was concerned that I was doing something wrong by not waking him. But, I'm sorry, if he's going sleep through the night then so am I! He usually woke up between 5:30am and 7:30am for a feeding and then went back to sleep. He was a great napper too. His morning naps were usually around an hour and a half and then he slept again for a couple hours in the afternoon.

But lately, something has changed. It could be the teething. It could be the fact that he's getting over his first cold. It could be that his room has been so cluttered that he was feeling stress. It could even be something greater, something we cannot see, something that is making him fearful and scared. Whatever it is we're asking for it to be removed in Jesus' name so that Mr. Man will be well-rested, healthy and joyful....as well as mommy and daddy!

We've tried different methods of a bedtime routine for Reese.

We've tried the Ferber method (as we understand it)--putting him in his crib awake, walking away and coming back in time increments to soothe him and rub him WITHOUT picking him up, until he is asleep. The time increments for which you come in to check on him (for example) start with two minutes, then again five minutes later, then again ten minutes later, and so on. This didn't last very long for us and finally Zac picked him up and we were done with that for the night!

We've tried the method in which you put the baby to bed awake and sit with them, soothe them, rock them and slowly start inching closer and closer to the door until you are finally out of the room and they are asleep or on their way. Yep, this didn't work either. Reese stands at the end of his crib sobbing, waiting for someone to pick him up!

We've tried rocking him to sleep, playing a Praise Baby DVD, playing classical lullabies, everything!

Finally, the only thing that gives us some kind of result is what I guess is called the "cry it out" method. With this you put the baby to bed awake, walk out and shut the door behind you and don't go back in until morning. This is the most heartbreaking one for me! For any parent I imagine! The first night we did this we had to go to our bedroom, close the door and turn the monitor down so we could still hear him but not so much. He cried for 50 minutes that night before finally going to sleep then woke up in the middle of the night again. That night we went in to get him and brought him to bed with us--thinking that he wanted a bottle and some cuddling--which he didn't. He just wanted to cuddle up in our bed and fall asleep.

Tonight, we tried the cry it out thing again and he cried for an hour ON THE DOT before finally falling asleep. As hard as it may be, if he wakes tonight we have to let him cry and not go in to check on him. I know we'll get a lot of differing opinions on this but we've decided that for the next 3-4 nights we're going to put Reese to bed and just shut the door. After that span of time he'll probably start to understand bedtime. The only thing we can do is rely on the Lord, so that's what we're doing! We're praying for our little man to understand sleep and we're praying for strength as his parents to do what we believe the Lord is telling us to do for our family.

Every family is different and every child is different. This seems to be the best thing for us at this time. I have had to fight those ideas in my head telling me that Reese feels like a bad boy and that is why he is put in his crib and cries and nobody comes to get him. I shared this idea with a friend and she asked me if Reese has experienced much discipline yet. When we say "no" to him he just turns to us and smiles. She explained that based on his response that he doesn't understand the concept of discipline or being bad, so therefore he cannot associate being bad with being put in his crib and crying.

The other thing I feel I need to mention is that as a church we are currently doing a 21-day fast. Zac and I have gotten to the point in our lives and our marriage that we don't find things that happen to us a surprise anymore. We're stretched everyday, with many different decisions or situations. We've gone through some things (and continue to) that may be tough, but we've always been provided for and in the end become stronger in our Christian walk and our daily lives and decisions. We're fighting a battle, a spiritual battle, a battle that ultimately, we cannot see. With these battles come trials, but also a responsibility in our response to them. I present myself to others as a Christian and I am being watched by those who do believe and who don't believe. They are watching how I respond to things. I must choose my answers with wisdom and guidance and believe that they are seeing God through that. That's why we're seeking the Lord for something such as our difficulties with Reese's sleeping. I am expecting the Lord to make Himself known through this entire sleep situation by the end of the fast. Every day this week I have fasted for something specific each day. One day it was for the health of my husband and son. Praise the Lord my son is better and my husband is on his way. The last few days has been the same prayer--for my son's sleep. Even if the rest of my fast is focused on Reese I believe that on that 21st day we will have overcome this sleep situation and the Lord will be praised for the work He has done in all three of us.

For those of you curious, this is how our evenings now look (or will look like in full soon!):
5:00-6:00pm Dinner
6:30pm Bath
7:00-7:30pm Dressed for bed, cuddle and a warm bottle
7:30-8:00pm Bedtime
???-7:00am Mom and Dad time/Sleep